Last week I was on vacation with my family. The last day I was sitting by the ocean enjoying the sunset, thinking how grateful I was for living my life the way it was, right in that moment. Then I remembered how frightened such a thought would have made me some 20 years ago.
I used to think, more or less subconscious, that you had a balanced amount of good and bad days. So if you were really lucky for a period, that period simply had to be followed by some kind of tragedy or bad days. That was some kind of law. I don’t really know where I got that from, it was just the truth for me. That made me reject thoughts of gratefulness, because that would sort of seem like I counted that as a good moment. Maybe there could be better moments, but I had already made sure that bad days would come! Have you had the same feeling? Or did I invent that stupid law myself?
One day a wise lady told me: “You seem to be carrying your life in a teaspoon! You are so afraid the happiness will spill out that you can hardly enjoy it.”
Shortly after I heard about mental training for the first time (I will write more about that another day!). Today, after years and years of studying, training and working with mental training, I know that what you focus on, you will probably get more of. If you let your brain know the goal, it will help you to see and go for those things that will get you there. No magic, no hocus pocus.
In recent years I have been more and more interested in exploring the spiritual realm and also there I see the same thoughts, but perhaps with another – more magical! – explanation. Many of you probably read “The Secret” some years ago. According to the Law of Attraction you get what you focus on. Universe, God or Source will bring it to you. Usually we are very focused on what we lack. So therefore we will get more of that! “I am not rich, beautiful, smart enough”, or “I don’t have the car, the house or the relationship I want”. So be it!
If I am grateful for the moment I have, even if it’s not one of the top-10-days, I will get more of that. Or if I can focus on the nice parts of my body, the nice parts of my house or the things I can do for the money I have and be grateful for that and say “I am happy for this and would love more of it to come” – so be it!
The teaspoon I threw away years ago, but I’m far from perfect and it doesn’t work all days and in all situations, but I am getting better and better in my gratefulness training. And I love that I can sit there by the ocean today and allow myself to actually be happy!