Today I happened to hear an old interview with Dr. Wayne Dyer talking about the impersonal intelligence. He gave an example that I liked very much: Put forth your hands and take a look at your ten fingers. On everyone is a finger nail. A nail that is growing constantly. If you find it tiresome to have to cut them and take care of them all the time, you might want to tell them to stop growing. Will this prevent them from growing? No, it won’t, because that is out of your control. There is an intelligence within you that makes the nails grow. And that same intelligence is within all of us.
So my nails keep on growing due to some kind of intelligence beyond my control.
When I start to think of it, that’s the case with everything in life that is truly important. I can control what I do during my day, what I eat, what I say and what I pay attention to. But I can’t control my breathing very much, my heart pumping, blood running in the right directions in my body, all my organs taking care of food and air and turning it into fuel for my body. The actual things that are important for me to be able to live yet one more day! Of course I can make it easier or more difficult for my body to be able to carry out its purpose, depending on what I eat, the pressure I put on my body, if I get a cold etc, but the ability to fight the bacteria, to mend broken muscles or turn food into healthy fuel I can’t control.
Where is this intelligence? Is it in my cells, or between them, or outside of me? Is my body like a radio satellite, receiving information and forwarding it to the right cells? I don’t know. But I find the thought fascinating, that we all have the same intelligence making our nails grow. Is it once source of intelligence telling all our bodies what to do, or is it one intelligence in each of us, originating from that one source?
The other day I suddenly realized that I live in a very female dominant environment nowadays. I have always been working in very male dominant companies, but now I’m not working and most of my friends whom I spend my days with are women. My husband is almost the only male I talk to! Is it different? Hmm. When I start to think about it I can notice that it’s very comforting talking to women. I don’t really have to think about what we’re talking about. The atmosphere of bonding, relaxing in the friendship is the most important. But if occasionally a man joins the group I get the feeling that the conversation is suddenly more focused. Why is that?
When I started my first job at a small, newly started mill with five men at the office and eleven men in the factory they had already worked together for some months. One day the six of us at the office decided to have an after work; bicycling in the forest, having picnic and drinking Gammeldansk. While we were resting and chatting in a meadow one of my colleagues said “It’s so good that you began at our job – now our conversations at coffee break and lunch are so much more interesting!” I laughed and wondered if they had only been talking about women and fast cars before. “Oh, I wish we had, but we mostly talked about what paint to use when repainting the house or which new tires to buy. Nothing really interesting.”
Is it so, I wonder, that both men and women tend to relax and pay less attention to the dynamic and the actual topics in the conversation when they are in a homogeneous group, but get more alert when the group is mixed? I have no idea at all, these are only my thoughts for the day! Don’t get me wrong – I often have fantastic conversations with my girlfriends, but then we are usually aware of the fact that this was something different from the everyday chitchat. Maybe the awareness that women’s everyday chitchat is different from men’s everyday chitchat makes us meet on common ground, where we both have to listen to the other part and his or her interests, which makes us more focused.
Then of course comes the question if “focused” is actually better than relaxed and comforting? Is it more intellectual or more important or just more of a compromise?
Or maybe it’s just the way I am? I would really like to hear your thought on this subject! Have you had the same experience?