The book “No Chance Encounter”, by Kay Pollak.
What I think about you,
Says much more about me
Than it says about you.
This was sort of a revelation to me when I read it in a thin, little book some 20 years ago.
Such a wonderful and simple way to personal growth! Not easy though …
So every time you feel annoyed, irritated, and contemptuous or in any other way dislike someone’s behavior, attitude or looks you have a unique possibility to do some training;
What is it I dislike about X?
Why don’t I like that?
What kind of feeling does it evoke in me?
What do I think about such behavior/attitude/looks?
So if it says more about myself:
Am I afraid of being like X?
Have I always tried to hide that side of myself?
Am I jealous?
Did my mom tell me that people doing like that are no good?
Am I ashamed of some part of myself?
Or am I disappointed that I never dared to do such a thing?
The answer might be a revelation to you! This is also a reason why you might be very irritated with someone, whom others seem to like. This could be one reason; You get much more irritated than others because what you see is more about something hidden in you!
I don’t say that this is easy. It’s actually quite deep and requires you to be honest, courageous and open to meet yourself. It’s a bit scary, I admit that, but more often I laugh when I realize how stupid it is to be annoyed by that person, and accept a new piece of me out in the light. If you’re interested in such things you will find yourself surrounded with possibilities to new lessons! Just look around and you will most certainly find someone to look down on.
In my Facebook group “Expressions on Personal Development” I share interesting documentaries, sites and ideas that I find here and there. Now I would like to share some of the books, influencers, interviews and ideas that has inspired me since I was a teenager.
The little, thin book I talk about above is a book by the Swedish film director, lecturer and author Kay Pollak:
“No Chance Encounter: Meeting Yourself in Others”
“Att växa genom möten” (in Swedish)
The book will give you much more examples and techniques to use then working on your personal growth through your thoughts about others. I highly recommend it! Do you think you will give it a try?
PS: Talking about Kay Pollak I also have to recommend his amazing movie “As it is in Heaven”. Here you can see a short interview with Kay Pollak and glimpses from the movie.