I have a belief that we can create and influence our future by the way we choose to focus our thoughts and enhance our feelings today. I don’t know how it works though! If it’s my brain finding new connections and solution, God, Angels, guardians, the Universe, the law of attraction, my soul or something else. And I try not to care, as long as I see that it works. And I can see that over and over again. Yet I don’t trust it to work!
Ironically I also believe that if I focus on what I do NOT want and my lack of things going my way, I will get more of that (which I do not want). So that’s been my biggest mental issue the last year. How can I let go of focusing on the problem and trust that the solution will come?
Last week I was on vacation and had time to sit on the beach pondering these thoughts, asking for help to trust. Just enjoying the warm sand under my feet I lazily walked down to the ocean. The waves close to the beach were high and hard this day and I felt that I should not go swimming today (particularly not wearing my new, cut sunglasses), since I’m scared of being under water. But there were a bunch of French people further out, beyond the breaking point of the waves, and they seemed to have a great time. So I quickly swam out to them and enjoyed the movement of the warm ocean for a while. Suddenly I see a huge wave coming against me and I realize I will not be able to escape it. I take a deep breath and tell myself not to panic but swim upwards and let the wave pass before I try to put my feet down again. I tumble helplessly under the wave crushing down on me, but I am proud when I come up without any panic. Then I see the next wave coming and I have to do the same thing over again. Standing up once again, I realize that my glasses of course are gone, but there is no time to look around because a third huge wave is on its way! I use my last strength to fight the strong current and manage to reach the shore.
To my surprise, and contentment, I feel mostly positive: I’m happy that I escaped the third wave, I’m not angry with myself for losing my glasses, since it’s already too late and I’m a bit fascinated to think that my inner me told me not to go into the waves!
Another 5-6 huge waves come and go and I can imagine my glasses being anywhere in the ocean by now. But I have experienced miracles before, I remind myself. So I ask two French ladies on the beach if they can tell their friends out there in the waves that I’ve lost my glasses. Just when I’m about to leave I hear a lady shouting. I look up and far out there she is, waving, with my glasses in her hand!
I just had to laugh! I could just imagine a somewhat fed up guardian angel standing by my side saying: “So now – do you trust that I’m here!?”
I do. For a while at least …